Calm Achieves More

I was recently shopping at the local supermarket and found a mother with a young child (around 3-4 years) with a full iPad attachment to the trolley, where the child was watching non-stop episodes of Giggle and Hoot (popular kids show in Australia) on YouTube. While I was there picking up some basics I kept passing them in the aisles and happened to be right next to them while they were paying for their items. When it was time to leave the trolley, the child became unhappy because it was time to pause the video and the mum promised to put it straight back on in the car. They were at the shops for about the same time as me – 10-15 mins. During that time the child needed constant distraction for mum to shop in peace. In a way adults aren’t any different. We fill our days with some form of stimulation or distraction for our minds. We live in a world full of distractions. Not a minute goes by where our brains are not stimulated with posts on Facebook, photos on Instagram, videos on YouTube, snaps from friends, and tweets from your favourite movie star! And it’s what we call being ‘busy’. We’re all busy people yet we manage to find 1-2 (or more) hours a day to spend checking who liked our posts on Facebook. By filling our time with countless (and pointless in my opinion) distractions we have no time for our mind to be calm and relaxed. As technology brings us closer to stimulating information we have to be conscious about spending time away from technology.

According to a recent study done by inc.com, millennials check their phones 150 times per day, checking for that next message or response to a post. It is no wonder that we are find it hard to stop and do absolutely nothing; and I mean nothing. Sit there on a couch, with the TV off, phone in another room, laptop put away, and sit there without anything at all just for five minutes. For five minutes, feel the feeling of empty-ness. Most high achievers do this as a ritual, including, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Richard Branson, Tony Robbins, Simon Sinek, and many many others. They all find stopping helps them go faster. They achieve better results once they have some way of emptying their mind or resting regularly.

This is easier said than done! In today’s world we don’t go far without hearing a popup, ding, or a bubble that makes us instinctively pull out our phones to check it, even if we’re already talking to someone face to face. It is important to find time during the day that we do nothing at all, even if it’s 5 minutes to begin with. When we don’t have any external stimulation to our brain, it can think clearly, rationally, and it will help you make better decisions. When you’re staring at a screen scrolling or watching that amazing ab slimmer that will give you a six pack in 6 weeks on shopping TV; your brain can’t think beyond what you’re looking at. It has no other capacity to meaningfully put thought into other things.

So how do we achieve calm in today’s ‘busy’ life. Well first, we have to look at what we do each day. Identify how our lives are so busy that we can’t go out for a lunch with a friend we haven’t seen in 6 months. Understand what you are so busy doing that stops you from becoming a high achiever. Most people sleep for 8 hours, work for 8 hours, and we’re left with 8 hours. For those 8 hours write down exactly what you are doing, hour by hour. And be honest! Put it on your fridge and write it down for a week. Once you have identified the time spent on ‘useless stimulation’ the second step is to figure out what you’re going to replace the habits with. How you’re going to find time to do nothing during the day.

Here are some tips I used to disconnect from things that you don’t “need” in your life.

1. Go for a walk without your phone for 5 mins a day. When you’re comfortable doing this for a week increase to 10 minutes.
2. Spend 5 mins longer in the shower each day with the water running on your back. (Yes yes, we’re running out of water, but guess what – desalination is real and humans will figure out how to do this on a massive scale before we run out of water).
3. Lose the phone from your bedside. By keeping your phone next to your bed, you are more likely to look at your phone when you wake in the middle of the night and not sleep for a longer period. Put it in the kitchen, you’re not the president.
4. Have set hours for watching TV and don’t compromise. Watching TV is one of today’s biggest distractions. Limit the amount of useless Married at First Sight episodes you watch.
5. Go out for dinner with your favourite person without your phone. Apart from Social media and texting, there is no need to have your phone on you. There is no emergency, you don’t need your phone. If you’re so attached to it, just leave it in your car.

You will find that just 5 mins of calm per day without stimulating your brain will help you get better results, better productivity, and feel the sense of achievement that you haven’t felt in the recent times. By clearing your head for just 5 minutes per day, you’ll find that your brain no longer drifts even when you’re looking into someone’s eyes during a conversation. We have now found such an attachment to stimulation that it is hard to find separation, but once you do, you’ll have the ability to make better decisions in your day to day life.